


"What's Depression Like?"

by spidermaninplaid



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Depression, F/M, Imagaine, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidermaninplaid/pseuds/spidermaninplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little thing that was on my mind, and I needed to write it down. Hope you all enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	"What's Depression Like?"

The white silk sheets were spread out messily on the king sized bed you shared with your boyfriend, Kendall. He was snuggled under the covers. No shirt. No pants. Just boxers. It was about two in the morning and you really didn’t know why you were up at this hour. 

You watched Kendall sleep peacefully, breathing in and out at a soft and soothing pace.

His hair was disheveled, some of it falling into his face. Very little of your red lipstick was left, still smeared at the bottom of his lip from last nights activities. Something about the way Kendall slept made him look so innocent. The way his nose was slightly digging into the pillow or the way his hands were latched on to the covers could have done it.

He stirred a bit, stretching and moving the covers off him exposing his bare chest.

You didn’t say a word.

He turned back over towards you and opened his eyes just a bit.

"What are you doing awake?" he asked in the raspy morning voice he had.

You smiled and brought your hand to his cheek and brushed against it gently.

"Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you," you said, not realizing it. 

"What do you mean?" Kendall asked lazily, slowly moving to shift his position.

"I've always loved you," you began. "I tell you everyday you save me from myself, and honestly, I mean that with all my heart. If I didn't ever find you, I can't guarantee I'd be here walking and breathing like I am right now,"

Kendall's sleepy structure stared at you, hard, and thinking. And, you couldn't help but stare back, wondering what he was thinking. Maybe you said something you shouldn't have.   
"What's depression like?" he suddenly asked, his voice very soft. 

That's when it hit you. All those memories from years past came rushing back. Those memories of school, boyfriends, fights, things you did wrong, everything. Tears swelled in your eyes, and you thanked that there was a very dim light from the night light you guys had in the bedroom. Kendall wouldn't be able to see your tears. 

"It's like drowning," you explained. "except, you can see everyone around you breathing."

You felt the tear flow grow heavier, and small choked sobs escaped your lips. 

Kendall sighed and pulled you closer to him, taking your arms and kissing every little mark you knew you left there those years ago. He understood the boundary he crossed there, and you could tell he never was gonna cross it again. Unless, you were ready to talk about it. You saw a small smile on his face, before he placed a wet kiss on your forehead and closed his eyes again.

"The last thing I ever wanna do is make you cry," he said, his voice cracking a little. "I'm sorry," 

You intertwined your legs with his and he took his arms and held you so close that you could feel him breathing. Kendall started to hum and unfamiliar tune that made you a little sleepy.

"I love you" he whispered. You started to close your eyes, a smile forming on your face. 

"I love you too" you whispered back, kissing his chest lightly.

And, for a moment, your thoughts shifted back to Kendall. How long you've waited for this. How long you've waited for this relationship. How long you've just waited for him.


End file.
